Your result for The Brutally Honest Personality Test ...
Clown- ESFP
67% Extraversion, 50% Intuition, 40% Thinking, 47% Judging
Congratulations. You are the buffoon of society, the class clown, the general funny guy/gal. Your purpose on earth was to serve as entertainment for the rest of us sane ones. We're laughing with you and at you. Some people would kill to be as funny as you. Other would rather just kill you.
You're spontaneous, fun-loving and optimistic. You're all in all an idiot.
You wanna know why? It's because you would rather have fun than concentrate on your duties and obligations. You act before you think. You talk before you think. All in all, you don't think that much at all.
You did terribly at school, didn't you? You were the class clown. Paid no respect to the teachers or to your fellow students. Paid no attention to your school work. And look where you are now... starting to regret your decisions?
Get down to earth. Find a real job and start taking care of your responsibilities. Sure, people love you, but they don't love you because they like you. They love you because you make them laugh. They love you because they can always look at you and say "Well, at least I did better off than him or her!"
...but at least you're funny, right?
Monday, October 12, 2009
Monday, October 5, 2009
It's Not Always My Fault. Usually, but not always...
From: David Garrett
To: Billy Txxxxx
Sent: Jan 1, 200x 1:10 PM
Subject: Sincerest Apologies
Billy,
I enjoyed hanging out with you and your friends on New Year's Eve. Please thank your brother for letting us sleep on the couch after the party. We were in no shape to drive.
More importantly, please accept my sincerest apologies for the actions of my date during the night. I had no idea she would get so drunk as to wander into your bedroom, urinate on your belongings and then climb into bed naked with you and your girlfriend. Believe me, this was not something I condoned, encouraged or found amusing in the least bit. I hope her actions do not reflect on my character or affect our valued friendship.
Obviously I will pay for the carpet to be cleaned and replace your leather jacket if she doesn't take care of it. Thanks for your understanding.
Dave
Sent via Blackberry
To: Billy Txxxxx
Sent: Jan 1, 200x 1:10 PM
Subject: Sincerest Apologies
Billy,
I enjoyed hanging out with you and your friends on New Year's Eve. Please thank your brother for letting us sleep on the couch after the party. We were in no shape to drive.
More importantly, please accept my sincerest apologies for the actions of my date during the night. I had no idea she would get so drunk as to wander into your bedroom, urinate on your belongings and then climb into bed naked with you and your girlfriend. Believe me, this was not something I condoned, encouraged or found amusing in the least bit. I hope her actions do not reflect on my character or affect our valued friendship.
Obviously I will pay for the carpet to be cleaned and replace your leather jacket if she doesn't take care of it. Thanks for your understanding.
Dave
Sent via Blackberry
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Monday, September 21, 2009
This is from a Girl I Met Named Janet
| hide details Apr 6 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
Hi David,
It's not that I want nothing to do with you because I think you're a bad person or something, but I just know from our interaction that we would interpret our hanging out totally differently. I know this because you said when we were chatting at the party that it was clear I liked you, or I wouldn't have talked to you so long. And maybe by me writing this long email you'll think I like you too, but I think in both instances I'm just being a friendly person--I'm not about to walk away from someone willing to chat with me at a party, and I'm not about to not respond to your email. However, I do have a boyfriend right now, and since I should only see one person at a time, I think this will have to be the last time we chat.
Friday, September 18, 2009
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Reader Input Regarding Whether I am Truly the Most Evil Person in the World Who Ever Lived
THIS IS A LETTER FROM A LONG-TIME FRIEND AND PAST LOVER REGARDING MY EVIL STATUS. SHE HAS CHOSEN NOT TO INCLUDE HER NAME, BUT IT RHYMES WITH SHERESA.
is he is or is he ain't that evil? (part 1)
i've known david for a long time - a lot longer than most of the girls he's dated in the last few years were much more than a twinkle.
and sure, he's left a trail of broken hearts, broken spirits and broken engagements in his wake. maybe there's even been an attempted
suicide or two attributed to his callous treatment and/or his mishandling of romantic entanglements. but the most evil person in the
world who ever lived???
technically, i don't know her, the girl who made this claim, and i haven't really heard her side of the story, but i know a few things about
what went down between them and i think she might just have a hard time finding (and spelling) the right words. she called dave an "embecil"
(if i didn't know for a fact that david is incredibly intelligent i'd give her that one just because of the fran drescher thing) and "disillusional".
i think that one pretty much hit the nail, if she was going for a combination of disillusioned and delusional (?) - he has some issues, granted.
but it's a big leap from being kind of a dick sometimes to being the most evil person in the world who ever lived.
it's subjective though. maybe this chick is just not much for history. or doesn't have the crime channel. or has never heard of yoko ono.
maybe david is the most evil person in her whole world who ever lived.
there are and have always been evil people in the world. and whether their motives are/clear or not, their actions were not justifiable -
thus the "evil" label. but just like the why do bad things happen to good people conundrum there's also the why do good people do bad things?
maybe sometimes it's because they live in los angeles. . .
really. here's a guy who once wrote me a letter about the relaxing qualities of feeding squirrels fruit loops from a second story window ledge
and then a year later totaled his car to avoid running one over. not evil. at least not inherently. but that was before he moved to california .
and got motives.
is he is or is he ain't that evil? (part 1)
i've known david for a long time - a lot longer than most of the girls he's dated in the last few years were much more than a twinkle.
and sure, he's left a trail of broken hearts, broken spirits and broken engagements in his wake. maybe there's even been an attempted
suicide or two attributed to his callous treatment and/or his mishandling of romantic entanglements. but the most evil person in the
world who ever lived???
technically, i don't know her, the girl who made this claim, and i haven't really heard her side of the story, but i know a few things about
what went down between them and i think she might just have a hard time finding (and spelling) the right words. she called dave an "embecil"
(if i didn't know for a fact that david is incredibly intelligent i'd give her that one just because of the fran drescher thing) and "disillusional".
i think that one pretty much hit the nail, if she was going for a combination of disillusioned and delusional (?) - he has some issues, granted.
but it's a big leap from being kind of a dick sometimes to being the most evil person in the world who ever lived.
it's subjective though. maybe this chick is just not much for history. or doesn't have the crime channel. or has never heard of yoko ono.
maybe david is the most evil person in her whole world who ever lived.
there are and have always been evil people in the world. and whether their motives are/clear or not, their actions were not justifiable -
thus the "evil" label. but just like the why do bad things happen to good people conundrum there's also the why do good people do bad things?
maybe sometimes it's because they live in los angeles. . .
really. here's a guy who once wrote me a letter about the relaxing qualities of feeding squirrels fruit loops from a second story window ledge
and then a year later totaled his car to avoid running one over. not evil. at least not inherently. but that was before he moved to california .
and got motives.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
"You lie!" Today, I am the second most evil person in the world who ever lived
Day 3: Evil Hears About Health Care
I'm not sure I would have the balls to call the President of the United States a liar in front of millions of people, but I kind of resent being told that the "time for bickering is over". This is America. The time for bickering is always. America was built on bickering. You may disagree. But if you do, I don't want to hear about it...
Whenever someone tells you that the way to solve a problem is for you to keep your stupid opinion to yourself, that's exactly the time you need to yell louder. I mean, if the only way to push a solution through is to suppress opposing viewpoints, maybe the solution needs to be re-thought. But what do I know? I hooked up with this "chick" at a recent track and field event.
In my defense, "her" testes were internal:
World Record Runner is a Hermaphrodite
I'm not sure I would have the balls to call the President of the United States a liar in front of millions of people, but I kind of resent being told that the "time for bickering is over". This is America. The time for bickering is always. America was built on bickering. You may disagree. But if you do, I don't want to hear about it...
Whenever someone tells you that the way to solve a problem is for you to keep your stupid opinion to yourself, that's exactly the time you need to yell louder. I mean, if the only way to push a solution through is to suppress opposing viewpoints, maybe the solution needs to be re-thought. But what do I know? I hooked up with this "chick" at a recent track and field event.
In my defense, "her" testes were internal:
World Record Runner is a Hermaphrodite
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